No point sugarcoating it: security—whether in the military or corporate—wasn’t built for us. But we’re here anyway. You know what it’s like to be the only woman in the room, surrounded by that type-A, law enforcement energy. They expect you to fit in, but fitting in comes at a cost. And after a while, you realize: they don’t need another version of them. They need something else entirely.

You’ve felt it. Speak up, and you’re too much. Hold back, and now you’re not enough. And when they call you intimidating, it’s not admiration—it’s a warning: You don’t fit, and they don’t like it. You give a solution, they ignore it. A man says the same thing later, and suddenly it’s brilliant. It’s not even frustrating anymore—it’s just predictable.

Sound familiar?

But here’s what they don’t tell you: we don’t need to match their energy to lead. We lead by doing what they can’t—seeing patterns in chaos, balancing empathy with strategy, building teams that thrive on collaboration, not competition.

Leadership doesn’t have to be about barking orders. It can be about documenting processes, finding gaps, and solving problems before anyone else even knows they exist. It’s about showing up fully, without apology, and leading in ways that feel true to us.

If you’re out there, juggling a thousand things, I see you. I know the weight you carry, the emotional labor you do on top of the job itself. And I know how often that work goes unseen. But know this: you don’t just belong here—you make this field better.

We’re not here to fit in. We’re here to change the rules. And we’re not waiting for permission.